B. Russel Sprout

By:  Lorraine A. Vail

Without a doubt Mr. Sprout,

you are an alien imposter—

no formal papers and little clout.

Crossed the border with no passport,

Russel, uninvited and illegal,

sliced in Culinary Court.

Petite cabbage imitator,

round and green with few skills,

you must exit our refrigerator.

You find our language hard to master,

and take “salad jobs” for lower wage,

Your pungent presence spells disaster.

Not being native is no excuse

to side-step our legal system.

This masquerade is quite a ruse—

Assimilate, do not abuse

or mock our immigration laws.

E v e r y vegizen pays his dues